In the In-Between
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I‘m here right now. And I want so much to be on the other side. In the fulfillment of His promises. On the other side of bravery and courage. But it’s so hard. I find myself telling the Lord this over and over.
To be vulnerable. To break down these well-constructed walls I set up to protect me from harm and trust that the Lord will be my wall. It all sounds good and dandy but walking it out is something entirely different.
Whenever I think of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3), I think about how right before they were thrown into the fire, God could have sent a whirlwind and just whisked them away. And how it might have been terrifying for our ‘even if’ warriors to really be at the edge of burning to death and have to trust God even then.
God didn’t whisk them away. He did them one better. He allowed them to encounter the thing that they may have feared the most (i.e being burned alive) and showed them that He is God over it.
And He is God over everything. He is Sovereign. And this is something I need to remember all the time. In seasons when He feels silent, and the enemy tempts me to believe that He’s forsaken me. The Father is here and I need to trust in the integrity of His character. He is a faithful Father. And He has not given me one reason to doubt Him.
Then my brain says ‘I don’t doubt God, I doubt myself. I doubt whether I am capable of doing all that He’s called me to. I doubt that I won’t fail. I doubt that I am enough.’
To my capabilities, I quote Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
To doubting myself, Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
To my worthiness, Psalm 139:15-16
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
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Here, where I can’t clearly see tomorrow and the rest of my future. Here, where I am still struggling with the idea of missing out on the life that God has promised me only because of myself.
Here.
I will wait on Him.
I will trust in Him.
And I will not run in fear.
May the wilderness produce in me what it needs to.
Although this is hard, I pray for the grace to stay.
Even if what I fear comes upon me.
Because You are God over it too Lord 🤍
